Tag Archives: sort your life out.

I dont know what frightens me more, the thought that i have no control over my life or the thought that i have total control and this is how its worked out.

Obviously it works on a sort of continuum. But i often get the feeling that, even when its the things i say or do which land me where i end up, im just completely not in control of the outcome. I have no agency at all except to hurry or maybe delay the inevitable. Its totally fucked. And i know i have agency. I know i have control but its very limited and i never realise that i’d reached a crossroad until im halfway down the wrong path.

I never realise that im happy until its well and truly over. I never realise these things. I feel like im blindfolded. Such a shit metaphor but still.

Like i said before, i’m fully aware that i am the only one that can save me, but still it would be nice if someone else would save me. Help.

Just another saturday where i wake up and think, what the fuck am i doing?? X

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